May 29, 2016
Hi, I’m Jim, and welcome to more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at!
Lois and I are in Fairbanks, Alaska, celebrating our nephew’s wedding! The happy couple are both in their late 30s and never been married, so it was a truly joyful time. Then this coming Saturday, we’ll celebrate the 50th anniversary of Lois’ sister and brother-in-love. So, here’s my Wedding issue:
Children who marry their parents: the psychology of courtship
In Getting the Love You Want Dr. Harville Hendrix, believes our “old brain” which records emotional responses, creates an exact resume’ of our future spouse. We marry the emotional image of our care-givers—both positive and negative. For instance, I realize that I only dated brunettes—despite the advertising campaign at the time that “blondes have more fun.” My mother and grandmother had dark hair! How weird!
Dr. John Money agrees that each of us begins to form ideas of the “perfect” partner the moment we are born. We begin to make a mental list of the qualities we most value in those closest and dearest to us. Dr. Money believers that, by the time we are eight years old, we have an unconscious but very precise idea of what our future dates and mate should look like. [Continue reading]
Top ten secrets to staying married 42 years
10. Be sure you have a pre-nuptial arrangement concerning paint or wallpaper, flannel or percale, and over the front top or under the back bottom for the way toilet paper comes off the holder. (These are the things that break up marriages!)
9. Lower your standards. Better to go with a real imperfect spouse than a Hollywood illusion. Anyone can appear funny and flawless with a team of script writers and plastic surgeons. And, according to a UCLA study recently reported right here, David Frederick, the study’s co-author, told Health Day News, “While women seek out muscular men for fun flings and view them as more attractive . . . they definitely don’t want to marry them. Why? They’re seen as being less faithful, less likely to treat them well, and less emotionally sensitive.” Whew! I weighed 115 on our wedding day. [Continue reading]
But wait, there’s more!
• Falling in love—and getting back up
• Looking for love in all the right places
• Men and women are different!
• No hablo, estrogen! Becoming bilingual in relationships
• Breaking up without breaking down
• Top ten reasons I’m not divorcing my wife
Cartoon of the week
Quips and quotations on love and marriage
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Friedrich Nietzsche
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.
Nicholas Sparks in The Notebook
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher Socrates
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13)
Read more quotations of hope and humor at Why? Over 1,000 Quotations on Life’s Most Difficult Questions.
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