James Watkins Author Speaker Threat to society

New slogans for old 'boomers'

Now that Baby Boomers (those born between 1946-1964) are starting to collect Social Security and AARP discounts, maybe it's time to rethink some of that generation's advertising slogans, bumper stickers, and those artsy motivational posters. Here are some of my suggestions:

The best part of waking up is waking up

You deserve an ache today

When the going gets tough, call the urologist

My other car has a handicap sticker

Breathing is Job 1

This is your brain. This is your brain on Prozac.

Nothin' says lovin' like something high in fiber

Make a run for the bathroom

Dude, you're getting a pacemaker

Nothing beats a great pair of support hose

Obey your doctor

Things go better with Codeine

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you feel completely out of your mind

Nothing comes between me and my Depends

An army of doctors

Tune in, turn on, burn out

Got milk of magnesia?

Just for the health benefits of it

Just say 'no' to fudge

A mind is a terrible thing to lose

No pain, no consciousness

Today is the first day of what's left of your life

I'd rather be napping.

Shower Naked

Just carefully consider it

Can you hear me now that you have that 'Miracle Ear'?

Of course, there are a few that need no updating:

I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

Just what the doctor ordered

I've fallen and I can't get up

And, oh, by sheer coincidence my wife is turning 50 the 24th.

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New slogans for old 'boomers'

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