Now that Baby Boomers (those born between 1946-1964) are starting to collect Social Security and AARP discounts, maybe it's time to rethink some of that generation's advertising slogans, bumper stickers, and those artsy motivational posters. Here are some of my suggestions:
The best part of waking up is waking up
You deserve an ache today
When the going gets tough, call the urologist
My other car has a handicap sticker
Breathing is Job 1
This is your brain. This is your brain on Prozac.
Nothin' says lovin' like something high in fiber
Make a run for the bathroom
Dude, you're getting a pacemaker
Nothing beats a great pair of support hose
Obey your doctor
Things go better with Codeine
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you feel completely out of your mind
Nothing comes between me and my Depends
An army of doctors
Tune in, turn on, burn out
Got Mylanta?
Just for the health benefits of it
Just say 'no' to fudge
A mind is a terrible thing to lose
No pain, no consciousness
Today is the first day of what's left of your life
I'd rather be napping.
Shower Naked
Just carefully consider it
Can you hear me now that you have that 'Miracle Ear'?
Of course, there are a few that need no updating:
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Just what the doctor ordered
I've fallen and I can't get up
And, oh, by sheer coincidence my wife is turning 50 the 24th.
Copyright © 2003 James N. Watkins (who is 51)
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