Creator magazine calls my wife's and my collection of comedy/drama sketches based on biblical characters,
"Humorous and witty . . . edifies the Body and glorifies God in an entertaining way."
Synopsis
Here's what might happen if a "health and wealth" TV evangelist met one of the original disciples who had "no silver or gold."
Stage setting
The set of a TV evangelist's program. Can be anything from a bare stage to TBN's set.
Characters
BROTHER BOB BLESSING dressed in fashionable suit
ST. PETER dressed in a shabby first century robe
Brother Bob:
Ain't God great! Hi, friend, I'm Brother Bob Blessing here with another
exciting special: "Something Lucrative is Going to Happen to You!"
Behind me is the beautiful billion-dollar "Ain't God Great Center"--home
of our satellite TV station, the "Ain't God Great Radio Network,"
our seven-thousand-seat auditorium and fitness center, and of course our
"Springs of Blessings" water slide. From here we proclaim the
good news the world is waiting to hear: "Jesus wants you healthy and
wealthy." We'll be telling how you can be blessed by sharing in this
exciting ministry in just a moment. But first friend, let me introduce
today's co-host. He's assertive. He's positive. He's one of Christ's own
disciples. Here he is, your favorite disciple and mine . . . Saint Peter!
[Saint Peter
enters, appearing overwhelmed by the sets, lights and cameras.]
Brother Bob:
Welcome to our "Something Lucrative is Going to Happen to You"
special, Saint Peter.
Peter: You
can just call me Peter.
Brother Bob:
Well, what an honor to meet one so positive and assertive, and of course,
healthy and wealthy.
Peter: Well,
actually I've got this really bad cold I picked up in prison and I'm afraid
I don't have any silver or gold.
Brother Bob:
[talking to off-stage]: Keep the tape rolling, Nick, but make a note
to edit that out in production. You see, Peter, I'm Brother Bob Blessing--the
world's most positive thinker. Jesus wants us healthy and wealthy. We're
King's kids. Ah, let's try another approach. Take two. Five. Four. Three.
Two. [silently count "one"] Peter, you were one of Christ's closest
friends. What positive and powerful message stands out above all the others.
Peter: I
guess the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus started out by saying, "Blessed
are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of . . .
Brother Bob:
Cut! Peter, you don't seem to understand that this is a positive show.
God doesn't want us living below our privileges. He loves you and has a
wonderful Porche for your life. [Talking to off-stage] Roll the tape, Nick.
Take three. Five. Four. Three. Two. [pause] One of Christ's messages that
stands out to Saint Peter is the Sermon on the Mount.
Peter: "Blessed
are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Brother Bob:
Cut! What do you mean "mourn." If you think on positive things,
if you really believe that something lucrative is going to happen to you,
then life can be continuously happy.
Peter: But
I get beat up everywhere I go sharing the Gospel. And my close friend,
James, was beheaded. And worse than that, there are people dying this moment
and going into eternity without Christ.
Brother Bob:
Just don't think about it, friend. Fill your mind with positive thoughts.
[To off-stage] Keep the tape rolling, Nick. We may be able to salvage some
of this. [To Peter] Please, say something positive.
Peter: Well,
I'm basically a "go for it," assertive and confident sort of
guy . . .
Brother Bob:
Praise God! Yes, friends, it's those who assert themselves and name
it and claim it that the Lord blesses.
Peter: .
. . but I've learned that only the meek will inherit the earth.
Brother Bob:
[To off-stage] Make a note to edit that out. Take four. Five. Four. Three.
Two. [pause] [To Peter] Is there ANYTHING positive you remember Christ
saying?
Peter: Oh,
sure. Most of it.
Brother Bob:
Finally! Peter remembers Christ as someone who thought positively,
lived positively, and was positively successful! Can you share some of
those thoughts, Peter?
Peter: Sure,
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they
will be filled."
Brother Bob:
Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus! Yes, Jesus want to fill our lives
to overflowing!
Peter: "Blessed
are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."
Brother Bob:
Preach it, friend!
Peter: "Blessed
are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
Brother Bob:
Hallelujah!
Peter: "Blessed
are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."
Brother Bob:
Gaa-lory! Yes, friends, God wants you to be His son or daughter and
experience all His riches. Just dial 1-800-BLESSED and . . .
Peter: "Blessed
are those who are persecuted because of righteousness for theirs is the
kingdom of . . .
Brother Bob:
CUT!
Peter: "Blessed
are you when people insult you and falsely say all kinds of evil against
you . . . .
Brother Bob:
Okay, that's enough! Are the mikes off? Look, Peter, it's been great
being with you, but--nothing personal--you're not the kind of guest this
special needs.
[Peter walks
off shaking his head.]
Brother Bob:
[To off-stage]: Nick, see if you can get me the disciple who wrote
"God's divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness."
[pause as if Nick answers Brother Bob] That WAS him?!
If this page was helpful, please . . .
a) tell a friend
b) link to it from your blog or Web site
c) save it as a favorite at
delicious.com
d) recommend it to digg.com and
StumbleUpon.com
If this page was really helpful, please . . .
e) consider a donation to our sponsor XarisCom.
You can donate securely with any major credit card
WARNING: Reader assumes full responsibility for the proper and prescribed use of this
site. For external use only. Discontinue if rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops. If swallowed, do not
induce vomiting. Side-effects may include drowsiness or mild to severe agitation. Do not read while consuming alcohol or
operating heavy machinery. Keep away from open flame. Do not store above 451 degrees. Do not use near or place in water.
Void where prohibited, taxed or licensed. Any medical information provided is for general educational use only and should
not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.
Views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of
any other person—real or fictitious, living or dead—using the name James Watkins.
@