Mickey apparently hasn't read any history, mythology, literature . . .
How's this for
a children's movie character, action figure, coloring book model, lunch
box icon, and celebrity spokesperson? Our "hero" murders his
children in a fit of insanity, then blames his dysfunctional family. After
all, Mom is furious with Dad's multiple affairs—of which our hero is a
result—but doesn't want to say too much since he killed and ate his
first wife! So she bumps off the son's wife, "Meg," and sentences
him to perform twelve heroic deeds.
No chance in
Hades, you say? Not for the those wacky Walt Disney writers and product
developers. If you remember studying mythology in high school, you know
the real story of Hercules! Call me paranoid, but I feel
a bit uncomfortable with a psychotic child killer peering out at me from
the toy aisle.
Mickey's movie
makers not only mutate mythology, but history and theology as well. Pocahontas
looks more like Native American Barbie (the original, silicon-enhanced
version, of course) Meets Dashing Adventurer Ken at a New-Age Convention.
But according
to The True Travels, Adventures, and Observations of Captain John Smith,
she was twelve and he was pushing thirty when they first
met, and there's no record of any statutory romance between the two. And
contrary to the video version, Smith didn't turn to the Indian culture's
belief in tree, water, rock, and root worm spirits, but Pocahontas was
baptized as a Christian when she married colonist John Rolfe. I
don't think she'd approve of her revised history.
Victor Hugo would
be feeling no "les miserable" with Disney's deformed Hunchback
of Notre Dame. In his book, Quasimodo is an insane, would- be murderer
who pours molten metal on the crowd below the belltower with premeditated
intent to murder, mame, and cause bodily injury. And Esmeralda really does
come to the end of her rope—on the gallows.
What's next?
Adolph, the heart-warming musical of a tortured artist who finally
receives world-wide fame as a motivational speaker? Let's all sing, "It's
a Small Reich After All."
Okay, okay, maybe
I'm expecting too much realism from a company whose official spokesperson
is a disease-carrying rodent. And there's nothing wrong with a talking
mouse for 100 percent pure fantasy fun. Nobody does make-believe better
than Mickey and company!
But you have
to admit that Disney puts the "dis" in distorted when it comes
to literature, history, theology, and even mythology. So, maybe we should
be cautious of the company's views on morality, as well.
Copyright © 1998 James N. Watkins
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