From the archives


Why does ‘Grinch’ Laden hate the U’s?!

December 2001

    Every U o'er in U.S. liked freedom a lot
    But the Bin and the Taliban, al Qaeda did not!
    The Bin hated freedom! The whole freedom nonsense
    Now, please don't ask why he's hateful and tense.

    It could be his head isn't screwed on just right
    It could be, perhaps, that his turban's too tight.
    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    Is perhaps that his soul is ten sizes too small.
    But, whatever the reason, his soul or his turban,
    He peered from his cave hating civilization.
    For he knew every U o'er in U.S. of A.
    Was celebrating freedom to live life their way.

What is it with Osama bin Laden that he so hates freedom in general and America in particular? Oddly, enough, the husband of five wives is appalled at breakdown of the family.

Muslim author Harun Yahya describes non-Islamic (infidel) cultures where "an extreme feeling of distrust prevails. When there is no reason for one to be sincere, honest, reliable or well-behaved, nothing stands in the way of dissimulation, falsehood, or betrayal. The members of such societies have 'cast God away behind their backs with contempt' and thus never acknowledged the fear of God. In an environment without religion, the first concept to be eliminated is that of the family. Values such as loyalty, fidelity, allegiance, love, and respect, which sustain the family, are totally abandoned."

As an American infidel, I believe in sincerity, honesty, reliability, family, loyalty, fidelity, allegiance, love, respect, and God. (And I agree with the Islamic teachings against pornography, immodest dress, abortion, alcohol and drug abuse, racism, pollution, and other social ills.) So, if Osama bin Laden believes all of those things and I believe all those things, why can't we all just get along? (As a culturally-sensitive columnist, maybe I could even change my name to "bin Ritin".)

Franklin Graham, Billy's son and head of a relief organization, may have the answer. "I've worked in many countries, and my concerns are the nations under Islamic law [that] use the Qur'an as the basis for the law. It's not the people of Islam I'm concerned about [but] the nations that use Islamic law."

According to the Qur'an, "The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His apostle and strive to make mischief in the land is only this, that they should be murdered or crucified or their hands and their feet should be cut off on opposite sides or they should be imprisoned" (The Dinner Table, 5.33).

Perhaps, then the major difference between bin Laden and bin Ritin, is that he wants to change the world through external domination, while I'd like to see the world changed through internal transformation.

For instance, a Nigerian Christian is quoted in World magazine as saying, "When Christian missionaries come to Africa, they build schools and hospitals. When Islamic missionaries come, they try to take over the government." We have seen that in Sudan (with its slavery and persecution of Christian), Saudi Arabia (with its deplorable treatment of women), and at times in Indonesia (with its bloody rebellions and hostage-taking.)

Yes, I'd like to see Britney Spears put on a few more clothes, but I don't want to see her beaten for baring her bellybutton. Yes, I'd like to see a decrease in crime, but not the decrease in prisoners' limbs. And, yes, I'd like to see family relationships strengthened, but I don't see how killing parents in the World Trade Center accomplished that goal.

Changes in society come from changes in our hearts, which brings us back to our Dr. Seuss paraphrase . . .

    Bin stared from his cave and started to curse,
    It was Franklin Graham and Samaritan's Purse,
    The U.S. Red Cross and other relief,
    Bringing in aid for Afghan's in grief.

    And he puzzled and puzzled to his puzzler was sore,
    Then the Bin thought of something he hadn't before.
    Maybe change doesn't come from AK 47's,
    And maybe . . . perhaps . . . U's can still go to heaven.

Wishing you, and the people of our world, a season of peace and charity.

Copyright © 2001 James N. Watkins

Sound off, share, support

Email your comments to

If "Hope & Humor" was helpful, please . . .
    a) tell a friend
    b) link to it from your blog or Web site
    c) Become a friend on Facebook
    d) save it as a "book mark" or "favorite."
    e) recommend it to and

And if "Hope & Humor" was really helpful, please . . .
    f) consider a tax-deductible donation of any amount to the cause
    (and get a free book!). Click here.

Legal stuff and dire warnings

Copyright © James N. Watkins. All text and graphics on my sites, unless otherwise noted, are copyrighted © in my name and are protected by United States copyright law and international copyright law under the Berne Convention. Please visit the press room for information on reprinting any text or graphics. Thanks!

Warnings: Reader assumes full responsibility for the proper and prescribed use of this site. For external use only. Discontinue if rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops. May contain nuts. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Side-effects may include drowsiness or mild to severe agitation. Do not read while consuming alcohol or operating heavy machinery. Appoint a designated reader if intoxicated. Keep away from open flame. Do not store above 451 degrees. Do not use near or place in water. Void where prohibited by law, taxed or licensed. Any medical information provided is for general educational use only and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Some material may not be suitable for young children. Parental discretion advised. Views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of any other person—real or fictitious, living or dead—using the name James Watkins.