Hope and humor: encouragement from James Watkins

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April 2010

Phillips Brooks writes:

Let every man and woman count himself immortal. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. Let him say not merely, "Christ is risen," but "I shall rise."

Now that is a message of hope! Have a happy—and hopeful—Easter!

Please visit every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for spring-fresh hope and humor.

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well" (The Bible, 3 John 2).

Friday, April 30, 2010

Jesus Calling with hope

Sarah Young's best-selling book, Jesus Calling, contains biblically-inspired messages as if written directly from Christ Jesus. Very encouraging! Here's one of my favorites from the 366-day devotional:

"Come to me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breadth of your

neediness. You life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let me fill you with my Presence. I in you, and you in Me.

"My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to my Presence" (page 121).

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to leave a comment.

This week on TwitterFace

Here are this week's favorite posts from my Twitter and Facebook pages:

"The same laws and regulations will apply both to you and to the alien living among you" (Numbers 15:16, The Bible) Good advice!

"Humor is a rubber sword—it allows you to make a point without drawing blood." Mary Hirsch http://www.jameswatkins.com/bananas.htm

Some thoughts on NATIONAL DAY OF PRAY CONTROVERSY: http://www.jameswatkins.com/prayerinschool.htm

"God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies," Elizabeth Gilbert

BBC: "Explicit mention of religion is seen as 'un-British,' a bit 'American' and a 'turn-off' to the electorate." God save the queen!

Supreme Court case to define religious freedom. Please read: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/may/1.49.html

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

There's some good in this world
. . . and it's worth fighting for

Hope from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers:

Frodo Baggins: I can't do this Sam.

Sam Gamgee: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of

darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo . . . and it's worth fighting for.

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share a comment.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Is it a hangnail or hand grenade?

In Squeezing Good Out of Bad, I include a top ten list of ways to deal with life's lemons:

10. Don't confuse them with hand grenades (Identify the problem)

It's sometimes helpful to put everything in

perspective. Is this truly a hand grenade or is it more in the category of a hangnail?

For instance, ask yourself, would I trade this problem in on a hangnail? How 'bout a headache? Harmonica concert? Hernia? Hair loss? Holdup? Hurricane? Hand grenade?

In the grand scheme of life, most "problems" are somewhere between harmonica concert and hernia. But I would have traded some hand grenade shrapnel for the restoration of a broken relationship or miraculous resurrection of a loved one.

Mostly, though, my problems are somewhere between a really bad hangnail and a mild headache. I've had very few "hand grenades" in my life. We can look at each lemon of life as a hand grenade that threatens to destroy us or as fruitful experiences that prompt us to grow emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

So, today, put it in perspective.

(Read a complete chapter on putting pain in perspective. And if you're facing the hernia of unemployment, click here for a free electronic copy.)

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share your thoughts.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Communicate to Change Lives in Minneapolis

I'll be teaching how to "Communicate to Change Lives" at the Minnesota Christian Writers Guild's spring seminar Saturday. Please pray that those attending will be equipped to change lives with their writing and speaking.

Click here to browse the book.

Thanks to artist, graphic designer, friend Michael Fraley

Thanks, Michael, for your help with the new "Hope and Humor" banner! It looks great!

Check out his art and graphic design at Artwork by Michael Fraley. He's not only a serious painter ("Art Class" on right), but a whimsical cartoonist and witty columnist.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Beyond 'McPrayer'

Sometimes I'm afraid I treat God like the drive-through window at McDonalds. I scan the menu board of "promise verses," place my order, and then race my engine as I wait impatiently.

One week in 1988, I decided that I would try to get beyond my "McGod" mentality of prayer and just praise the Lord—without

placing one "order." I picked the wrong week!

Monday, I discovered we had a little over one hundred dollars in our check book and bills of over a thousand dollars. Wednesday a publisher, who owed me several hundred dollars in back royalties, announced that it too was broke. I was tempted to shout my order into menu board speaker, but I managed to simply praise God that week.

Friday, while on my way to the bank for a loan to cover our bills, I stopped by my daughter's school to pay her tuition. There had been an error last semester and we didn't owe money that month. Praise the Lord!

My next stop was at a Christian university to check on some advertising copy I had recently written. "That was great," the director announced. "We'd also like you to rewrite all our admissions brochures. Do you think you could do that for around a thousand dollars." Praise the Lord!

I never did get to the bank. All our bills were paid. God does "work through those who praise Him. Praise the Lord."

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share your story.

'Praise the Lord'

And, speaking of God working through those who praise Him, this classic from Russ Taff:

    When you're up against a struggle
    That shatters all your dreams
    And your hope has been cruelly crushed
    By Satan's manifested schemes
    And you feel the urge within you
    To submit to earthly fears
    Don't let the faith you're standing in,
        seem to disappear . . .

Large size

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share an encouraging video.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Top ten differences between secretaries and 'administrative professionals'

I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana: Top ten differences between secretaries and administrative professionals

10. Secretaries make coffee; administrative professionals procure international resources to motivate and empower staff.

9. Secretaries take memos; administrative professionals expedite inter-office communication.

8. Secretaries type letters; administrative professionals facilitate company communication with national and international clients.

[More]

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share your comments.

And don't forget Wednesday is "Administrative Professional Day"!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Managing your time . . .
and sanity

There are many famous formulas: E=MC2 has something to do with the speed that traffic lights change relative to how far you have to travel and how late you are. C=PiR, if I remember correctly, is helpful in cutting a pie into even portions. And, of course, there's Formula 409, which I have never seriously tried to master.

Here's another formula—and you don't need a pocket-protector full of engineering pens to understand it:

Y Z > A R = C

Simply put, if amount of your zeal (YZ) is greater than your area of responsibility (AR), then you will experience composure (C).

For instance, Kevin has the zeal and energy of the Energizer Bunny on speed, so let's say he has 10 "Z-factors" for his amount of energy and zeal (YZ). He's married, father of two, works 60-plus hours per week as a nuclear power operator, and serves as a member of the county school board for a score of "eight" for "areas of responsibility" (AR). As long as his amount of zeal (10) is greater than his areas of responsibility (8), he will experience "composure."

Let's say that Elizabeth is a working mom with two pre-schoolers, volunteers at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center and is guardian of her aging parents, so also has an 8 for areas of responsibility. But—oh, oh—her "Z-factor" is only a 7. Because her amount of zeal (YZ) is less than her area of responsibility (AR), the Y Z >A R = C equation is reversed and, instead of composure (C), she feels like she's going . . .

C = R A>Z Y

The "Z-Factor Theory," then, is quite simple. If we're going to maintain composure in our lives—and avoid being ordered to see a court-appointed psychiatrist—our energy level needs to be greater than our areas of responsibility.

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share your time-managing tips.

Speaking at Fort Wayne writers' conference

I'll be speaking at the American Christian Writers' conference in Fort Wayne, IN, tomorrow. Here are links to my topics:
• Keeping your dreams alive (click here for audio of keynote talk)
• The self-publishing option
• The ministry of writing (25 rejection-proof markets)

Lemons, bananas ship free!

The distributor of Squeezing Good Out of Bad and Writing with Banana Peels is offering free shipping now through May 1.

Use coupon code FREEMAIL305 at checkout and receive $3.99 towards your final shipping cost!

This week on TwitterFace

Here are this week's favorite posts from my Twitter and Facebook pages:

My brain is sore after a long work week. I think I pulled a hemisphere!

Is manned mission to Mars a spaced-out idea? http://www.jameswatkins.com/mars.htm

Library of Congress acquires complete Twitter archive: www.loc.gov/tweet/how-tweet-it-is.html Our tax dollars at work!

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." Will Rogers

Huge proposal for huge project with huge publisher due April 15. It's huge! I'm not! THANKS for your prayers!

To serve in the clergy, you have to be either called or crazy--and sometimes it helps to be both. Have a great Monday, clergy!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My plot to eliminate IRS

If you're one of the thousands of taxpayers who are frantically trying to complete your Form 1040 before tomorrow night's midnight deadline, here's some helpful advice. Quit reading this column! Get to your local post office for the fifteen different forms you'll need to send your checking account balance to Washington. Simpler yet, just send them your checkbook.

Actually, that display of tax forms at your local post office is just the tip of the IRS iceberg—there are over 1,000 forms, schedules, and publications!

For instance, if you made any money this year, start out with the 1040. If you made that money farming you'll need 1040 Schedule F for profit and losses or perhaps 1049 Schedule J for farm income averaging. If you used ethanol fuel for your tractor, you should file Form 6478 for "Credit For Alcohol Used As Fuel." But if your old John Deere is a gas-guzzler, you'll need Form 6197 to report your "Gas Guzzler Tax." (I'm not making these up. Just go to www.1040.com for a 50-page list of forms including the 1040-C for "Departing Aliens.")

[Click here for more on my plan to eliminate the IRS]

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to comment.

Monday, April 12, 2010

When life gives you lemons . . .
check the delivery slip

We had just moved into our very first house when a burly police officer appeared at our front door.

"I have a warrant for the arrest of . . . ." Oh no, I thought, they found out that I ripped off that tag from under our new sofa that reads "Do not remove under penalty of law." Fortunately my name wasn't on the warrant!

Unfortunately, we learned that the house we had just purchased in a nice suburb had been the neighborhood crack house. And that funny weed growing within the shrub was indeed "weed." I was glad to tell the officer, "I'm sorry, you've got the wrong person."

And sometimes the lemon delivery driver comes to our front door, and our name is not on the delivery slip, either. Fred Smith, the president and founder of FedEx delivery, reminds us that we need to learn to distinguish problems from "facts of life." If I can do something about it, it's my problem. If I can't do anything about it, it's simply a fact of life.

Trying to sort out what part of the situation is a fact of life and which part is a problem is a tough question, but one that must be asked. We can't take on problems that are not our problems. Yes, we can pray. Yes, we can seek help. But we don't need to take responsibility for things that we had no control over.

So, when the lemon delivery driver comes to your door, ask to see the delivery slip. And if your name's not on it, don't sign for it!

Excerpted from Squeezing Good Out of Bad. (And if you're currently unemployed, click to order a free copy. Please only unemployed.)

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share a comment.

Hope and help for writers

A wonderful time at the American Christian Writers mentoring in Nashville. Here are some links to the subjects I covered:
• Freelance Writing: my online course through Taylor University
• How to be your own editor
• Self-publishers and piranhas [plenary]
• Seven habits of the purpose-driven writer [plenary]

I'll be speaking at these writers' conferences the next two weekends:
• American Christian Writers: April 17, Fort Wayne, IN
• Minnesota Christian Writers' Guild: April 24, Minneapolis, MN

Friday, April 9, 2010

It is not the critic who counts

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and

FROM 'SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND'

shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
President Theodore Roosevelt

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share an encouraging quotation.

Sometimes the critic does count

Sometimes having a constructive critic does count. I'm critiquing manuscripts this weekend at the American Christian Writers mentoring weekend in Nashville. I'll also be speaking and critiquing manuscripts at:
• American Christian Writers April 17, Fort Wayne, IN
• Minnesota Christian Writers' Guild April 24, Minneapolis, MN

And if you'd like a gentle critique of your manuscript, click here for details.

This week on TwitterFace

Here are this week's favorite posts from my Twitter and Facebook pages:

National Star reporting Scientologist Tom Cruise now in sects rehab. (More on cults)

From WATKINS' CHURCH DICTIONARY--Geek Orthodox: A member of an online church. (More)

Twitter wants me to post my location. What?! It's bad enough utility companies know where I live!

"Cracked pots allow the treasure to shine forth." JNW

"A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence." JNW

Just confirmed 900th friend on Facebook. But how many will pick me up if I need a ride from the airport? (Seinfeld's criterion for friend)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Bats in the cyber church belfry

Twelve years ago (eons in Internet time), I wrote a snarky critique of the emerging "cyber church." That was in 1998 when George Barna, the wet-finger-in-the-wind church expert, was predicting that, and I quote, "a majority of Americans . . . completely isolated from the traditional church format . . . will roam the Internet in search of meaningful spiritual experiences.

PHOTO FROM TARA BURNER

Those people will never set foot on a church campus because their religious and spiritual needs will be met through other means�including the Internet."

I speculated that if 'net heads were leaving spouses due to chat room affairs and stealing millions with Internet fraud, perhaps, they should have their sins forgiven at the St. Microsoft site.

"Father Bill, I have sinned."

"Say 100 'Hail Windows '98' and thy sins will be forgiven, my child."

I still believe "cyber church" is an oxymoron. [More]

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share your thoughts.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hope for families and friends of killed coal miners

9 am Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of the those killed in the West Virginia coal mine explosions. Here are some pages that may be helpful:
• Dealing with death and grief
• Some thoughts on life's tough questions

Monday, April 5, 2010

Restored, redeemed . . .

A powerful testimony and song by Selah:

    Life breaks and falls apart
    But we know these are
    Places where grace is soon to be
        so amazing
    It may be unfulfilled
    It may be unrestored
    But when anything that's shattered is
        laid before the Lord
    Just watch and see
    It will not be unredeemed

Large size

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share an encouraging video.

Resurrection Sunday, April 4, 2010

'He is risen, He is not here'

"For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it" (John 5:21).

"HE IS RISEN. HE IS NOT HERE," proclaimed the sign outside the large stone church. It had once been alive and active in preaching the message of the risen Lord. Now stale, still, sterile ritual filled the building where

PHOTO BY JEFFERY L.THOMAS

the Spirit once breathed. He is risen. He is not here.

He is not safely confined behind the thick veils of priests, incense, holy days and ceremonies. He has torn the old system of atonement from top to bottom. He is risen. He is not here.

He is not safely confined in walls of stone. He has shaken loose earthly restraints. He has rolled away the barriers that separate Him from the outside world. He is risen. He is not here.

He is not in the grave clothes of tradition, pious phrases and lifeless legalism. The form of Christ is there, but the hollow shell only seems to echo, "He is risen. He is not here."

He is not confined by soldiers, government seals, or even organized religion. He is risen. He is not here.

Instead He dwells within those who are willing to be resurrected with Him. To breathe the fresh air of His presence. To strip off the grave clothes that restrict His movement. To walk through barriers of human limitations and expectations. To love unconditionally. He is risen. He is not here!

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to share a comment. And have a joyous Easter!

Holy Saturday, April 3, 2010

Good Friday, April 2, 2010

'It is finished'?

I have to admit my childhood memories of Good Friday are not that "good." As a seven-year-old I sat through seven pastors preaching seven sermons on the seven sayings of Christ on the cross. My favorite was always the seventh, "It is finished." It still is, but now for very different reasons.

On a dark Friday afternoon nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus declared His

CROSS FROM THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

work was finished. It seems a strange claim to make before His resurrection, His Great Commission to go and make disciples, His return to Heaven, or the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.

What was "finished" on that dark day?

[More]

Email me at jim@jameswatkins.com to xxx

This week on TwitterFace

Here are this week's favorite posts from my Twitter and Facebook pages:

Not sure why everyone's so excited about the "Final Four." What's so great about conquest, war, famine and death?

Just signed a six-figure book deal, lost 20 pounds and have my "to do" list done for the day. Happy April Fools Day!

Great joke from Charlie Peacock at Mount Hermon: Boy: "I want to grow up and be a successful author." Mother: "You can't do both."

Received "send me your book proposal" from 1 small, 1 medium, and 1 huge publisher for three different books. Please pray for next steps.

Top ten Web pages from March

I have in my right hand—direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana—March's top ten most popular pages at jameswatkins.com. [February's ranking]

1. Top ten secrets to staying married 30 years [19]

2. Home page [1]

3. "I just want to die" [2]

4. Were United States founding fathers Christian? [3]

5. Dealing with death and grief [4]

6. Top ten reasons I'm not divorcing my wife [5]

7. Does DNA disprove evolution? [6]

8. The hidden habit: masturbation [7]

9. Women in ministry [12]

10. Encouraging quotations [8]

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Legal stuff and warnings

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