Everyone needs to have a kidney stone
once in his or her life time. Preferably, the sooner the better.
You see, experiencing the sensation
of having a semi tractor-trailer with snow chains and a load of rolled
steel park on your lower back tends to put life into perspective.
For instance, if you're riding in a
tour bus and the rest room door suddenly swings open and you can't reach
the handle without creating an additional sight on the tour, you can say,
"Hey, sure beats a kidney stone." (All of these examples are,
of course, hypothetical and have never happened to me personally.) Or your
daughter calls you at 1 a.m. in the middle of winter and says, "Gee,
Dad, did you know that a '95 Neon can straddle a traffic island?"
you can say, "Hey, sure beats a kidney stone."
This perspective also works for times
you attempt to repair the toilet yourself and manage to not only cripple
the commode, but break off the main water shut-off valve. (I did mention
that these are strictly hypothetical examples, didn't I?) It helps when
your mother-in-law backs into your brand-new car. The time your five-year-old
son drives spikes into your coffee table. When you lose a great job as
an editor at a publishing house due to corporate down-sizing. While you're
recovering from double-hernia surgery and something on TV prompts a belly
laugh. When you're spending half your vacation time sitting in a traffic
jam in downtown Chicago with a stick shift, no air-conditioning, and two
kids in the back seat waging a fight to the death. You can always say,
"Hey, sure beats a kidney stone."
It also works for intestinal flu, crashed
computers, lactose intolerance, sadistic dental hygienists, arthritis,
overdrawn checking accounts, terminal toasters and transmissions, impacted
wisdom teeth extractions, prostate exams, IRS audits, and flat tires in
the rain fifty miles from any form of civilization. Now there are some
things that are worse than a kidney stone such as death, divorce, and "Saved
By the Bell" reruns, but most domestic disasters and occupational
pratfalls pale in comparison to a kidney stone. And that puts everything
in perfect perspective.
It's been six years since my painful
epiphany, which brings me to another kidney stone insight: "All things
must pass."
Copyright © 1997 James N. Watkins
Leave a comment, tell a friend, send me money . . .
Email your comments to jim@jameswatkins.com.
And if this page was helpful, please . . .
a) save it as a favorite at
delicious.com
b) subscribe to the RSS feed
c) recommend it to digg.com and
StumbleUpon.com and
d) tell a friend:
And if this page was really helpful, please . . .
e) please consider a donation to our sponsor XarisCom.
You can donate securely with any major credit card through PayPal. Thanks!
Legal stuff and warnings
Copyright © James Watkins. All text and graphics on my sites, unless otherwise noted, are copyrighted © in my name,
James N. Watkins, and are protected by United States copyright law and international copyright law under the Berne
Convention. Please visit the press room for information on reprinting any text or
graphics. Thanks!
WARNING: Reader assumes full responsibility for the proper and prescribed use of this
site. For external use only. Discontinue if rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops. If swallowed, do not
induce vomiting. Side-effects may include drowsiness or mild to severe agitation. Do not read while consuming alcohol or
operating heavy machinery. Keep away from open flame. Do not store above 451 degrees. Do not use near or place in water.
Void where prohibited, taxed or licensed. Any medical information provided is for general educational use only and should
not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice.
Views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of
any other person—real or fictitious, living or dead—using the name James
N. Watkins.
