It's time again make my daring predictions for the new year.
So far, in my nearly 20 years of prognosticating, I have a much better record than the grocery store tabloids. So far no UFO's have landed in the White House rose garden, a west-coast earthquake has not made San Diego and Los Angeles islands (Jesus was supposed to warn the west-coast faithful by email), Vanna White has not been electrocuted turning letters on Wheel of Fortune, a new continent has not risen from the sea, Saddam Hussein has not been shot to death (although a hanging seems imminent), and no live dinosaurs have been captured.
Last year the tabloid prophets were predicting a nuclear war would kill 500 million in April, terrorists would fly a plane load of people into Mount Rushmore, a woman in Delaware would have the head of her dying husband surgically attached next to her head, and a researcher would discover that heart disease can be cured with peanut butter (although dark chocolate was reported to have coronary curing ingredients).
Since December 2002, I've been making the very same predictions for each coming year. And each and every year, I'm amazingly accurate. So here are my old predictions for the New Year:
A famous Hollywood couple will split up citing "irreconcilable differences."
A famous country-western singer will lose his wife, dog, and pick-up truck after a D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
(In 2005, my predictions were fulfilled with Jen and Brad's break up and Kenny and Renee's four-month marriage.)
Michael Jackson's record sales will continue to slump while his increasingly bizarre behavior will go to the top of the charts. (In 2005, the dethroned King of Pop, went bankrupt and moved in with the royal family in Bahrain.)
A high-ranking government official will resign following an infamous affair and/or politically incorrect joke. (In 2005, it was White House aid Scooter Libbys resignation over CIA leaks, and House Majority Leader Tom Delays indictment for money laundering.) Politicians of all persuasions will continue to make stupid, off-the-cuff comments, but conservative gaffs will garner much more media coverage than liberal lapses. (Delay made headlines when he told Hurricane Katrina victims bunking in a shelter, Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?")
A major Fortune 500 company will file for bankruptcy protection after a top executive is accused of embezzling millions in company stock. (Several from the corporate world were indicted, and the United Nations oil for food program was rife with corruption at highest levels.)
Your computer will become obsolete. Bill Gates and Nigerian widows will continue to offer millions of dollars through email letters. (The spamming and scamming continued in 2005.)
Terrorists will continue to terrify despite war on terrorism which, at this point, seems as effective as previous wars on drugs and crime. (In 2005, the brazen attacks continued including four bombs in the London tube.)
Wars and rumors of wars will dominate headlines. (There were 50 armed conflicts throughout the world in 2005.)
Nostradamus, the French astrologer from the 1500's, will be credited with accurately predicting the most tragic event in the new year. Despite ban in schools and government proceedings, the President will immediately call for prayer and end his speech with God bless America. (Okay, it wasnt Nostradamus, but self-proclaimed prophet Kim Clement foresaw Hurricane Katrina in July, and President declared "National Day of Prayer" following the natural disaster.)
Yes, I'm cautiously confident that my predictions will once again be fulfilled this coming year. (I'm also confident that Jesus doesn't have email.) And I'm very certain that, no matter what occurs in the new year, faith, hope, and love will remain.
Wishing you a New Year filled with that faith, hope, and love.
Copyright © 2006 James N. Watkins
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