Had a very good work week, but looking forward to a day of rest. I AM

Feeling really bad. Must have been something we ate. Adam and Eve

I don't think my brother likes me. Abel

The romantic cruise my husband promised turned out to be a real zoo. Mrs. Noah

We'll be moving. No forwarding address at this time. Abraham

Sleepless night. Wild dreams and my hip is killing me. Jacob

Dream isn't working out exactly as planned. Joseph

Pharaoh wants to kill my son. I'm a basket case! Jochebed, mother of Moses

I've been out in the desert way too long! Moses

Frog legs for dinner. Again! Pharaoh [JL]

What part of "thou shalt not" don't you people understand?! I AM

Looking for new manna recipes. Zipporah [FB]

Hebrews are marching around Jericho for the seventh day in a row. Silly Jews! Rahab

My last performance should bring down the house. Samson

No longer following Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar on Twitter. Job

Facing giant too big to hit. Saul

Facing giant too big to miss. David

Played the Palace today. Tough room. David

Nothing interesting happens around here. Think I'll relax in the tub. Bathsheba

A thousand wives? I'm beginning to question my wisdom. Solomon

"Like a swallow, like a crane, I twitter" Isaiah (38:14 NASB) [LG]

Acquired four sharp, young executives in hostile take-over. I hope they fit into our corporate culture. King Nebuchadnezzar

I'm afraid I've got some really, really bad news. Jeremiah

Nice kitty. Nice kitty. Daniel

You're not going to believe this fish story! Jonah

Just found out Elizabeth and I are going to be first-time parents in our old age. I'm speechless! Zechariah

Mary, you're WHAT?! Joseph

Wisemen came by the palace asking "Where is the king?" Not a very wise question! Herod

AMBER ALERT! Twelve-year-old male. Last seen at Temple. Joseph and Mary

Herod's wife wants my head. I'm sure it's just a figure of speech. John the Baptist

Follow me. And not just on Twitter! Jesus [TM]

Wow! Had a real mountain top experience today! Sons of Thunder

We finally got rid of that trouble-maker Jesus. Caiaphas, high priest

Oops! Caiaphas, high priest

Just closed a real estate deal to die for! Ananias and Saphira

Busy day persecuting Christians. Saul

Busy day being persecuted as a Christian. Paul

Everybody in the whole cell block was dancin' to the jail house rock. Paul and Silas

Returning soon; can't give exact date and time. Jesus

Join the fun

Email your "tweets" to The Twitter Bible. (I'll be sure to give you proper attribution for your contributions.)



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Legal stuff and warnings

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