Top ten clues a man should put on a shirt

June 18th, 2014 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized

I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in hot and humid Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category:

10. Take a tape measure. Drop it on the floor. If you can’t pick it up without bending your knees, put on a shirt.

9. If you have a tattoo containing any of the Federal Communication Commission’s seven dirty words, put on a shirt.

8. If you don’t want to appear as a suspect on TV’s “COPS,” put on a shirt.

7. If you have more chest hair than your neighbor’s poodle, put on a shirt.

6. If you’re over 40, put on a shirt.

5. If you’ve had open-heart surgery, put on a shirt.

4. If your mother, wife or daughter (and especially all three together) can’t reach around you for a hug, put on a shirt.

3. If you don’t want to die of melanoma, put on a shirt.

2. If your measurements exceed 36A, put on a shirt.

1. If your family or neighbors forward this post to you, put on a shirt.

You know who you are!

(Click for more summer humor columns. And, seriously, put on a shirt!)

Copyright © 2000 James N. Watkins

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