Top ten reasons White House door left unlocked

September 21st, 2014 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized

A Texas man was able to get inside the north door of the White House Friday night after jumping a fence and sprinting nearly 200 yards across the North Lawn. This of course sparked security concerns—and material for a top ten list!

So, I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category: Top ten reasons White House door left unlocked. (Thanks to Facebook friends for helping with the list. See winner below.)

10. The First Lady had called out for a tofu and kale pizza.

9. The President ordered a veggie-free pizza (Mark Howe).

8. To relate to U.S. border policy (Michael Wilson).

7. They’ve been away from the Chicago area too long (Lloyd Woodard).

6. Jimmy Johns’ freaky fast delivery (Jerry E. Withers).

5. Someone sneaked out to play golf, go on vacation or have a smoke break? (Mary Scott)

4. The girls were throwing a Frisbee on the lawn earlier and didn’t lock it when they came back in—just like anybody else’s kids (Annie Travis).

3. “Who Let the Dogs Out?!” (Marlene Holdren)

2. The Vice President lost his keys (Lloyd Woodard).

1. “Exit strategy.”

Thanks everyone! And the winner, for providing a truly funny response without offending Democrats, Republicans or Independents: Annie Travis. An e-book of Squeezing Good Out of Bad is on its way, Annie.

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