An open letter to Jen Hatmaker’s gay daughter
Best-selling author and professing Christian Jen Hatmaker is stirring controversy with her recent podcast in which she celebrates her 20-year-old daughter’s identity as gay.
In the podcast, Hatmaker says, “I’m so glad you’re gay. I’m so glad you’re free. I’m so glad this is how you were made. I’m thrilled about your future. I already told you about the kind of wife you need to marry.”
She also apologizes to her daughter: “It will always be my greatest sadness that Dad and I did not do our own work earlier enough so that you felt safe and beloved in your own family … I’m so sorry.”
Here’s what I would say to her daughter:
As a former youth pastor and author of books and curriculum for teens, I do want to assure you that your sexual orientation is not a sin and sexual identity issues are common in about one-third of all adolescents. (I went through a struggle myself.) Orientation can be the result of many factors, but most work through it and choose their biological identity. It is complicated and confusing!
I would caution, though, that disobedience to God’s laws, designed for our own well-being, is displeasing and destructive. God desires a homosexual to live by the same principles for pure sexual behavior as a heterosexual: abstaining from any sexual activity outside a faithful male-female marriage.
So, I wish you God’s very best and pray that you will live a life of joy and obedience to the God who loves you and wants for you to have a “good, pleasing, and perfect life” (Romans 12:1-2).
With love and prayers, Jim
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August 2, 2020: Hatmaker has not posted on social media for three weeks following her strong defense of her’s daughter homosexuality and supporting her if she chooses a same-sex marriage. So, it is with sincere sadness that I just read her post: “I’ve been quiet. In short, we are deeply hurting in our little life [as we are] navigating an unexpected crisis.” Her silence is “to help steer [us] toward healing and wholeness.” This is not a time to kick them while they’re down, but to love and pray for the family—no matter how we feel about their views.