Top ten greatest things since . . .

July 7th, 2014 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized

Bread was first commercially sliced in 1928, so don’t you think we should update the tired cliche of “the greatest thing since sliced bread”?! So, I have in my right hand, direct from my home office, today’s category: Top ten greatest things since the greatest thing since sliced bread.

10. Universal remotes

9. Doritos

8. Roller luggage

7. Water beds

6. The pill

5. Microwave ovens

4. Antidepressants

3. Cell phones

2. The Internet

1. The word processor

Yep, for a writer, the word processor is the greatest thing since, well, sliced bread! (The pic above was my first computer from 1982: the Radio Shack TRS-80 aka “Trash 80.”)

In the days of B.C. (Before Computers) writers had to produce their articles and books by pounding away on typewriters, which were just one level above a goat skin and a pointed stick. And “cutting and pasting” involved real scissors and actual paste. “Spell check” consisted of those dreaded grade-school tests each Friday. And if we couldn’t think of a synonym, there was a chunky book called a “Thesaurus;” no relation to prehistoric creatures.

Word processor can’t make people better writers, but it can make them better typists. Whether the words are recorded with papyrus or pixels, they still are generated from the human mind. (Even the term “computer-generated image” is a misnomer since the image is generated in a human mind, but rendered on a computer.)

What word processors do is make the physical recording of writing so much easier and infinitely faster. No more retyping—and retyping again—a manuscript. No more putting words on a ream of tree flakes and sending it by pony express to a publisher, where a typesetter completely re-types it for print. Nope, just save as an attachment and click SEND.

I am so thankful for all the wonderful inventions since 1928’s sliced bread. I suspect, in another 86 years, people will be promoting the latest technology as “The greatest thing since sliced genes.”

© 2014 James N. Watkins

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So, what would you add as “the great things since sliced bread”? Please reply below.

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