Top ten reasons Santa on naughty list

I have in my right mitten, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category: Top ten reasons Santa on naughty list

10. Breaks into homes in the middle of the night (trespassing, breaking and entering both felonies).

9. Morbidly obese from diet of cookies and milk.

8. Tolerates prejudice (reindeer call Rudolph names, won’t let him join in any reindeer games).

7. Shows preference toward children of rich parents over the poor in annual gift-giving spree.

6. Shows judgmental attitude by keeping list of “naughty and nice” children.

5. Exhibits conditional love by basing gifts on aforementioned list.

4. Smokes.

3. Investigators concerned about what he’s smoking as he is constantly “jolly.”

2. Once arrested for punching out co-worker (click here for details).

1. Has author on his “naughty” list

Copyright © 2009 James N. Watkins

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