Breaking: Watkins puts lid on presidential campaign
November 8, 2016 7 pm
CORN BORER, IND.—Presidential candidate, James Watkins, conceded his election bid after polls closed in his home town. Speaking at a news conference at the Hoosier Sushi Bar and Bait Shop, Watkins reflected on his Tupperware Party campaign: “Putting a lid on government! Keeping traditional values fresh!”
“Thank you for your support this year. We ran a campaign of hope and humor. So, I urge my supporters—and all Americans—to please consider my final meme of the campaign above. And God bless America.”
Throwing pen into presidential race
I’m too conservative to be a Democrat, too liberal to be a Republican and too OCD to be a Libertarian, so I am running with the Tupperware Party: “Putting a lid on government.” Here are my planks in attractive, dish-washer-safe colors.
This is a very non-partisan campaign (I intend to offend all voters!), so I would appreciate your support by posting any of my “Hope & Humor” cartoons or links to my columns on your Facebook, Twitter, your blog or other social networks. (Simply right click on a cartoon, save it and then post. Thanks!)
God is on our side! And theirs?
Pundits are claiming that our country is “polarized” to Civil War proportions over moral, fiscal and political issues. Part of the problem maybe that the issues that polarize us as a country are religion-based. [Continue reading]
A New York Post editorial, American journalism is collapsing before our eyes, makes this accusation:
The largest broadcast networks—CBS, NBC and ABC—and major newspapers like the New York Times and Washington Post have jettisoned all pretense of fair play. Their fierce determination to keep Trump out of the Oval Office has no precedent.
If the Post was exhibiting its own “fair play,” it would have acknowledged that Fox News, The Drudge Report and Breitbart News and other right-leaning media outlets have their own “fierce determination” to keep Clinton out of the Oval Office.
The best a voter can do is a) be aware which way a newspaper or website leans, b) try to discover the truth somewhere in the middle, and c) come to a conclusion that is indeed “fair and balanced.”.
Liar! Liar! Pantsuit on fire!
I’m a fierce independent and someone with a journalism background, so if Ben Carson is lying about his rags to surgical scrubs story, that is a valid inquiry. It just wish Hillary Clinton was held to the same journalistic standards. [Continue reading]
Top ten verses Donald Trump must have missed
The candidate claims the Bible is his favorite book, but is ignoring its basic teachings. (Here are just en examples.) [Continue reading]
Candidates need to follow “Yellow Brick Road”
This election, I’m looking for a man or woman who has a brain, a heart and, oh yes, courage! [Continue reading]
Last Candidate Standing!
Perhaps national elections should be staged as reality TV shows: The Amazing Political Race, Keeping Up with the Kandidates, Conservative Eye for the Liberal Guy, Dancing with the Issues or Survivor: Electoral College. And the best part? It would run only from September through November “sweeps” each election year! [Continue reading]
Cross-dressing, sex-offending, criminally insane, drug-abusing, ex-con candidate
Wow! I can’t believe it. A candidate for president has just been accused of . . . [Continue reading]
Speaking with truth . . . and grace
I’ve been accused of being a “hateful,” “intolerant,” “homophobic,” “right-wing, conservative Christian nut case,” and a few other things not suitable for this website. I’ll plead guilty on the “Christian nut case” charge, but I don’t believe attempting to present objective information condemns one to being shackled to those adjectives. [Continue reading]
Top ten ways to reduce the national debt
10. Sponsor a national garage sale (Do we really need two Dakotas?) [Continue reading]
My plan to eliminate Infernal Revenue Service
If elected, I promise to work to abolish the current convoluted tax system. [Continue reading]
Is it a ‘life’ or a ‘choice’?
It’s not a part of your body! It is a completely separate being with unique DNA and a fifty/fifty chance of being a different gender, blood type, . . . [Continue reading]
A prescription of gun control
The Tupperware Party’s plank on gun control
Click for my video statement on tolerance
Will God’s purpose be accomplished election day?
I have a degree in theology and so, with complete confidence, I can emphatically state, “It’s a mystery!” I do, however, know this . . . [Continue reading]
The pope, the Donald, and walls
The pope and presidential candidate, Donald Trump, made headlines for their very different views on walls. The Bible is all about walls—but all are welcome through the “gate.” [Continue reading]
WWJE? Who would Jesus elect?
Don’t support someone simply because he or she mouths the right spiritual sound bytes. [Continue reading]
Voting options for conservative Christians
Here’s a roundup of various voices with various options on how to vote on November 8. (Hopefully, this is indeed “fair and balanced.” [Continue reading]
‘Twas the night before voting
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a choir of angels saying “Don’t fear.” [Continue reading]
You want me to pray for whom?!
No matter who is elected on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November 2016, Christians are urged to pray for every elected official, not just those they supported. [Continue reading]
* Not associated with the fine resealable containers from the good people at Tupperware.
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