Author Archives: jameswatkins

About jameswatkins

Author and speaker

Hope and Humor ‘zine: Graduation issue

May 15th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


Top ten things you won’t hear at commencement

Ever since Pebbles and Bam Bam graduated from Bedrock High, commencement speakers have been telling the crowd of cap and gowns to work for world peace, follow its dreams, and always wear clean underwear in case of an accident.

So cue “Pomp and Happenstance,” here are the top ten things I’ve learned since I wore a black bathrobe and silly hat. [Continue reading].



A wish for grads

I wish you faith

For my daughter, Faith’s, high school graduation, I wrote these lyrics for the junior show choir to sing to the seniors. This is my wish for you if you’re graduating.

I wish you truth for your decisions,
I wish you doubts to make you sure,
I wish you fear to give you caution,
I wish you courage to keep you pure,
But beyond these hopes and wishes,
one prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
faith and hope and love.

I wish defeats to make you humble,
I wish success to let you soar,
I wish you tears to make you tender,
I wish you joy and so much more.
For beyond these hopes and wishes,
one prayer soars high above,
I wish for you my graduate
faith and hope and love.

So as you stand and face tomorrow,
When life gets rough and tough,
There’s someone who believes in you
with faith and hope and love.

So I wish for you my graduate
faith and hope and love.

Copyright © 1996 James N. Watkins



Quips and quotations for commencement

Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde

It seems to us that the most important work in the world is the work which is visible, which we can see: building a house, plowing the land, feeding cattle, gathering fruits; and that the work which is invisible, the work done by our soul, is not important. But our invisible work at the improvement of our soul is the most important work in the world, and all other visible kinds of work are useful only when we do this major work. Leo Tolstoy

Jesus came to announce to us that an identity based on success, popularity, and power is a false identity—an illusion! Loudly and clearly he says: “You are not what the world makes you; but you are children of God.” Henri Nouwen

The impact that God has planned for us does not occur when we are pursuing impact. It occurs when we are pursuing God. Phil Vischer

Are you trying to make a living, make a difference, or leave a legacy? Seth Godin

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.Betty Reese

Read more quotations of hope and humor at Why? Over 1,000 Quotations on Life’s Most Difficult Questions.



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

Mother’s Day issue (05.07.17)
Star Wars issue (05.04.17)
Happy May Day (05.01.17)
Happy Administrative Pros Day (04.26.17)
Money, money, money issue (04.17.17)
20th anniversary issue (04.01.17)
Writing issue VII (03.23.17)
Easter issue (03.01.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this issue, please share on your social networks. Thanks!

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: 350+ positive posts

May 14th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


Articles, books, scripts . . .

Jim Watkins is an award-winning author of 20 books and over 2,000 articles on how to live, love and laugh. Read free—a bargain at twice the price—excerpts on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parenting, sex, spiritual issues, plus cartoons, comedy/drama scripts, and writing resources.



Motivational talks, seminars

Jim brings hope and humor to his audiences as well as teaching others to do so through conferences and seminars across the U.S. and overseas. Listen to full keynote talks and seminars, as well as consider having him speak to your church, conference, college or convenience store grand opening. (Here are his topics and schedule.)



Latest hope and humor

HopeAndHumor.org Humor features over 350 articles, book excerpts, cartoons and videos on everything from sects to sex. Click for latest packages of topics. (Use the search box at the top right to explore the archives.}

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: Happy Mother’s Day

May 7th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


Just for moms

Here are my favorite columns and cartoons for these amazing people called “Mom.” Have a great day!

Faith of Our Mothers A modern twist on an old tune

My daughter is one tough mother
She had to be with me as her dad. Happy Mother’s Day, Faith!

Top ten things my mom taught me
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!



For moms, dads, grands

Cartoons on parenthood

The papoose-driven life
Lessons learned from a four-month-old grandaughter

Son of a saint!
When godly parents have not-so-godly children

“Spray paint” parenting
The secret is thin coats of moral and ethical lessons

Talking to your kids about s-e-x
Children will learn about sex—from us or the bus!

Talking to children about war, terrorism, school violence . . .
It’s a frightening time to be a child—and a parent

You may be a parent if . . .
. . . you’ve ever uttered one or more of these classic lines

Happy Mother’s Day, Lois, Faith and Amy! Thanks for the wonderful kids and grandkiddos!


blackman-280
Report on race wins award

This just in. My feature article Race relations by the numbers won second place for reporting from The Evangelical Press Association‘s 2107 Higher Goals Awards. The piece was originally published in Rescue magazine May 2016. It is an important article, if I may say myself!



Latest issues, legal stuff . . .

HopeAndHumor.org Humor features over 350 articles, book excerpts, cartoons and videos on everything from sects to sex. Here are the latest packages of topics. (Use the search box at the top right to explore the archives.}

Happy Star Wars Day (05.04.17)
Happy May Day (05.01.17)
Administrative professionals issue (04.26.17)
Money, money, money issue (04.17.17)
20th anniversary issue (04.01.17)
Easter issue (03.01.17)
The Oscars issue with “Evil Jim” (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

Top photo from healthyblackwoman.com

Second pic: “Papaw” with two of his five adorable grands, Father’s Day 2008

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: Star Wars Day issue

May 4th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


Humor from far, far away

Cartoons from the dark side
Top ten rejected titles for Star Wars VII
Top ten signs Han Solo has turned 70
Top ten surprises in Star Wars: Episode VII
Note: Three years before VII was released, I predicted Han and Leila’s offspring would turn to the dark side! Sometimes I amaze myself.

May the Force be with you

The Force Awakens universal questions
How does George Lucas come up with character’s names? A drunken game of Scrabble? How do light sabers work? Where do space royalty go for their hair and makeup? Do we all have a light and dark side?

Star Wars III: modern morality play
Revenge of the Sith is a modern-day morality play where we witness a powerful struggle not only between good and evil, but the temptation to use evil for anticipated good; the end justifying the means.

This Force never sleeps
In Episode VII, “The Force Awakens.” Has it been taking a nap? Has it been frozen in carbonite? Did it pass out at the Mos Eisley Cantina? I’m glad the real Force never sleeps!



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

Happy May Day (05.01.17)
Happy Administrative Pros Day (04.26.17)
Money, money, money issue (04.17.17)
20th anniversary issue (04.01.17)
Writing issue VII (03.23.17)
Easter issue (03.01.17)
The Oscars issue with “Evil Jim” (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this issue, please share on your social networks. Thanks!


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Hope and Humor ‘zine: Happy May Day!

May 1st, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


“Your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:4b, 6b,18b NIV).

There are some sure symptoms that I’m getting older. I remember the original “Ed Sullivan Show” and “The Brady Bunch.” Gasoline at twenty-five cents a gallon. The thin Elvis. Civil Defense films on “How to Build a Bomb Shelter.”

And I remember May Day. No, not the military parades in Red Square. When I was a child May Day meant sneaking around the neighborhood leaving bouquets of dandelions on porches, ringing the doorbell and then running for cover—sort of trick-or-treating in reverse. The most important element was secrecy. No one was supposed to know who did the good deed! Apparently, this tradition has gone the way of poodle skirts and black and white TV.

The Pharisees’ tradition, however, seems alive and well. From pre-school to the nursing home good deeds are rewarded with gold stars, public recognition, corporate incentives and awards banquets. It probably won’t get done if there’s no “Certificate of Appreciation” offered.

And yet Christ repeatedly warns the Pharisees—and each of us—that deeds designed to be seen by others will not receive eternal rewards. “I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.”

Perhaps sneaking around to do good deeds is a tradition that needs reviving. Not only on May Day, but throughout the year.

Copyright © James N. Watkins Originally appeared in Light from the Word.

Pic: Our adorable oldest granddaughter who is now 12.

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: Administrative Pros issue

April 26th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (2 Comments)


I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, today’s category for Administrative Professionals Day: Top ten differences between ‘secretaries’ and ‘administrative professionals’

10. Secretaries make coffee; administrative professionals procure international resources to motivate and empower staff.

9. Secretaries take memos; administrative professionals expedite inter-office communication. [Continue reading]


officesupplies
APs are office olympians

Forget gymnasts, swimmers, track stars, and weightlifters (along with all those retired athletes pitching E.D. products)! Administrative professionals are the unsung heroes overcoming Olympic challenges in offices and factories closer to home.

10-mile Commute and 100-Yard Hurdles

Employees (who have just raced through rush hour traffic), must now jump ten parking bumpers, three UPS boxes, and a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign to arrive at their desk on time. [Continue reading



I’m my own AP!

For those of us who are privileged to work from home, there are a few drawbacks, such as being CEO, COO, CFO and AP! (I have to take myself out to lunch today!) But there are some real benefits. [Continue reading



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

Money, money, money issue (04.17.17)
20th anniversary issue (04.01.17)
Writing issue VII (03.23.17)
Easter issue (03.01.17)
The Oscars issue with “Evil Jim” (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this issue, please share on your social networks. Thanks!

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: Money, money, money

April 17th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

In this issue, my creative plan to eliminate income taxes and reduce the national debt, plus a look at freelancing, which offers no financial benefits, but a world of non-taxable blessings. Enjoy!


My plan to eliminate income taxes

If you’re one of the thousands of taxpayers who are frantically trying to complete your Form 1040 before tomorrow night’s midnight deadline, here’s some helpful advice. Quit reading this column! Get to your local post office for the fifteen different forms you’ll need to send your checking account balance to Washington. Simpler yet, just send them your checkbook. [Continue reading]



Top ten ways to reduce national debt

I have in my right hand, direct from my home office in Corn Borer, Indiana, “Top Ten Ways To Reduce the National Debt.”

10. Sponsor a national garage sale (Do we really need two Dakotas?)

9. Make Chuck-E-Cheese tokens legal tender

8. Turn Blair House into an upscale bed and breakfast

[Continue reading]



Freelancing offers freedom ‘real job’ can’t

As a freelance author, editor and speaker, I haven’t had a “real job” since 1982. That also means I haven’t had a regular paycheck, health insurance, pension, or paid vacation. But before you think I’m sending out invitations to a pity party, let me assure you that it’s been worth the white-knuckle trust that bills will get paid and the sleepless nights when there’s no paying work the next day—like right now. So, I’m writing this to assure myself that: [Continue reading]



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

20th anniversary issue (04.01.17)
Writing issue VII (03.23.17)
Easter issue (03.01.17)
The Oscars issue with “Evil Jim” (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
Inaugural issue (01.15.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this issue, pleas share on your social networks. Thanks!

Share

Hope and Humor ‘zine: Happy Easter!

April 15th, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

I love that Jesus was buried in a garden!

      The place of crucifixion was near a garden, where there was a new tomb, never used before. And so . . . since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there (John 19:41-42).

Cemeteries are places of death and decay, but gardens are filled with life and growth!

Wishing you the new life of the resurrected Christ this Easter . . . and always!

Click for links to Easter posts and cartoons featuring my favorite post: It’s Sunday, but Jesus is Coming.

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Hope and Humor ‘zine: 20th-anniversary issue

April 1st, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


Welcome to my 20th-anniversary issue! Since I launched on April 12, 1997—which in Internet years was 20,000 years ago—it’s been a honor to welcome over 7 million guests from 120 countries with articles, book excerpts, cartoons, humor columns and videos. (Above, the original banner.)

Here are the top ten posts over the years:



1. Were U.S. founding fathers Christian?

This post has consistently ranked one or two during the past 10 years—and has sparked passionate comments. Both revisionists and the religious right have tried to make the Founding Fathers fit their ideology, but here they are in their own words. You may be surprised! [Continue reading]



2. Hope and help for suicidal thoughts

I am both sad that so many felt the need to click this excerpt from The Why Files and so glad to be here for those in their darkest hour.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are major mental health crises, so I have tried to be transparent about my own struggles in these areas. [Continue reading]



3. It is well with my soul: the rest of the stories

This popular hymn’s back stories also proved popular. While it may have been well with their souls, it was not with the writer’s and composer’s tragic lives. [Continue reading]



4. A case for women in ministry

I was glad to see this post, which originally appeared in Rev. magazine, rank so high. I’m married to an ordained woman who did a wonderful job pastoring a growing church and is now a chaplain of a hospital. Here’s a biblical case for what she and millions of women are doing. [Continue reading]

A newer post—which has consistently made the top five list in recent years—asks, What was Paul thinking when he wrote 1 Timothy 2:12?



5. Top 10 reasons I’m not divorcing my wife

This popular post provides a whole legal binder of medical and university studies showing why divorce is not healthy mentally, emotionally or even physically. Before you consider divorce, please, consider these 10 important research findings. [Continue reading]


covwhy2-280
But wait, there’s more!

And rounding out the top ten . . .

6. Encouraging quips and quotations

7. Does DNA disprove evolution?

8. Dealing with death and grief

9. The hidden habit: masturbation

10. Ancient prophet warns of conspiracy theories


The many faces of jameswatkins.com

I’ve had a few designs and taglines over the past 20 years, but I think “Hope and Humor” sums up what I’ve been doing all my life—and hope to be doing until I move to my final “domain.”




I do hope and pray that I’ve been your cheerleader over the years and that you’ll recommed my site to your family and friends. (And, just to be clear, that is not me with the pom poms.)



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

Easter issue (03.01.17)
The Oscars issue with “Evil Jim” (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.01.17)
Inaugural issue (01.15.17)
Lives matter issue (01.8.17)
New Year, new you issue (01.1.17)
More

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, pastoral resources, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this issue, pleas share on your social networks. Thanks!

Share

Hope and Humor ‘zine: Writing Episode VII

March 23rd, 2017 | Posted by jameswatkins in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)


It’s been a joy to share at the Mid-South Christian Writers’ and the Blue Lake Christian Writers’ conferences. Here are links to my talks.

The ten creative commandments
This has become one of my favorite keynotes showing practical ways to increase your creativity in communications.

Three new “must haves” for today’s writers
Brand, platform and social networking have become absolutely essential in today’s publishing. Here’s some practical information and advice, along with a post on writing for the digital age.

Keeping your dreams alive
Writing can be discouraging, but here is hope from the story of Joseph.

Soaring with eagles, walking with emus
While this was delivered at writers’ conferences, it’s applicable to any career whether pastor, plumber or pyromaniac. Just mentally edit in your particular vocation.

Hope and humor for writers
A whole ream of writers’ resources



Previous issues, legal stuff . . .

Prepping for Easter (03.01.17)
Evil Jim at the Oscars (02.26.17)
Sexual identity issue (02.15.17)
Love, marriage, sex issue (02.1.17)
Inaugural issue (01.15.17)
Lives matter issue (01.8.17)
New Year, new you issue (01.1.17)
Mental health issue (12.28.16)

Plus, you can also access over 300 posts—more encouragement and entertainment than you can shake a memory stick at—on death, faith, health, heavy topics, holidays, hope, humor, life hacks, love, parents, sex, spiritual issues and writing resources. But wait, there’s more: free stuff. Enjoy!

All writing copyright © James N. Watkins and is protected by United States and international law. For permission to print or repost, please visit my press page.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it on your social networks. Thanks!

Share
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